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My mother (1906-1969) was a bit of a feminist for her time.She had three sons and two daughters, and there was no such thing as boys' work and girls' work in her family.

Ignore anyone who makes you feel worse during an emotional crisis.I've been somewhat effective at using meditation, ACT and other forms of CBT to mitigate my problems.Yeah, I'm better overall despite my current emotional crisis.They both said very little about themselves and I never learned what in their early lives had helped them grow the self respect they had. My dad had less self respect than she did and sent the five of us to Catholic schools where teachers put a lot of effort into blocking kids' attempts to grow self trust and self esteem.I think he didn't know that in his own way, by insisting that his kids turn in quality work at home, he partly sabotaged the Church's efforts.Invalidation, on the other hand, is to reject, debate, minimize, demean, judge or try to fix someone's emotions. When I first read through these invalidating statements, I cringed as I realized how many of the phrases I had used with my own loved ones — especially my wife, Erin.Counselors use the expression “gaslighting” to describe efforts to gradually manipulate someone into doubting his or her own reality or to trick a person into believing he or she is insane. Sadly, I'm sure I've sent the message to Erin that not only were her feelings wrong, but there was something wrong with her.I just had a spat with a self-righteous bully on this site who used personal information in an attempt to invalidate my feelings and make me feel worse about myself than I already did.Here are some things I learned that might help you deal with such a situation more effectively than I did.In my opinion religion hurts boys but hurts girls worse.You have my best wishes for success in your efforts to protect yourself.


  1. Jan 4, 2017. A woman with major depressive disorder share the ways people invalidate her depression. From the bare basics, such as the clutter in my home, to my entire catalog of books standing proudly on their bookcases, someone always thinks they know how to. The truth is, I never really like a “good night out.

  2. Nov 7, 2012. It's not difficult to find a social justice advocate who has accused someone of “gaslighting” someone else because that person said they are being too sensitive, too dramatic, or unable to take a joke. The added gravity of this accusation is that gaslighting is deemed a form of abuse by some mental health.

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