In your head you’re thinking, “She’s getting coffee with me. ” Placing too much significance on the first date can make you seem a little desperate. Much better if he casually said, “Hey, I’m Jim, do you want to do a test drive?It’s like if you went to a car lot and the salesperson said, “Hey, do you want to buy a car…from ME? ” When asking a woman out, it’s better to think one date at a time.Buddhists have a great attitude about attachment to the physical world.They have a phrase that goes something like “See the glass as already broken.” They don’t overreact when something is destroyed or when a glass breaks because that glass is already broken.
That’s where the nuance comes in: you need to strike a balance between acting like you KNOW she’s going to say yes, and not acting like a total douche.It is inevitable that the glass will break, so they see the glass as already broken—there’s no overdeveloped sense of attachment to it. If she says no, it’s not like you’re really LOSING something.Instead of getting bent out of shape if she says no, just say to yourself, “ah well, her loss.” One thing the Buddhists won’t tell you is that asking women out is a numbers game.It’s amazing how great shoes can take a so-so outfit up to the next level.And just as often, a great outfit can be torpedoed by wearing crappy shoes. If you go in there expecting she’ll say no, she probably will. Literally imagine what it will be like when she says yes.You should be focusing on the moment and not flashing forward in your mind to a movie-montage of the love affair you’re going to have.Don’t get all dreamy about it—the higher your hopes and dreams are, the farther they can fall.Well, I’d rather you say that than “hang out.” Your window of being able to ask women to “hang” closed right after you stopped riding a BMX bike.One of the biggest issues with asking a woman to hang out is that you’re not being clear about your intentions.If you start imagining yourself getting nervous or tongue-tied, stop and start again until you imagine it going smoothly.Now the big caveat to this is: don’t get hung up rehearsing specific dialog—don’t memorize your script, otherwise if things veer off in a different direction you could really be thrown.