While core values may form the foundation of who we are, our emotional needs often define the finer points of our relationships.
Psychologists say the key to getting off the dating merry-go-round often requires nothing more than taking time to get to know yourself before you try to get to know someone else.When you are in the throes of those toe-curling tingles, believe me, your heart is going to overrule your head every time," says relationship coach and matchmaker Melissa Darnay, author of When your sense of logic finally does come back -- which Darnay says takes about 120 days from your first toe curl -- suddenly your heartthrob may not seem so appealing.It's equally frustrating when you're still "feeling the buzz" and your partner isn't.Here are five ways to help you do just that: Understanding your core values is at the heart of truly knowing your needs."These are the things about yourself that are not likely to change."If you are looking to a partner to make you feel worthwhile, to make you feel happy, to rescue you from a bored or unhappy life, if you are seeking someone to make you feel complete or whole -- well then you have some work to do, because these are needs that are never going to be met by any one other than yourself," says Sugrue.To put those demands on someone else is to set up yourself -- and the relationship -- for failure.Understanding what fulfillment means to you, he says, is paramount to finding a partner with whom you can feel satisfied and happy.The one caveat: Trouble comes when we look for a partner to fulfill us in ways that, ultimately, we can only fulfill ourselves., character Gabrielle Solis (she's the beautiful ex-model with the gorgeous rich husband, big house, and bottomless bank account) sets the tone for the series with this simple but poignant statement about her marriage: "I have everything I wanted -- but I wanted all the wrong things." More than just a catchy phrase, you don't have to be an unhappy (or desperate) housewife to get what she means.Indeed, when it comes to choosing a life partner, experts say too many of us remain clueless about what we really want and need -- one reason so few of us seem to find it!