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When I asked my friend Alix, 22, also a recent Harvard grad, what the biggest struggle of college dating was for her, she didn't hesitate before saying: "I am terrified of getting emotionally overinvested when I'm seeing a guy.

I'm scared of being totally honest." I've felt this way too.

I read with interest the numerous other articles, books, and blog posts about the "me, me, me generation" (as Joel Stein calls us), our rejection of chivalry, and our hookup culture — which is supposedly the downfall of college dating. I didn't walk away from my conversation with Nate expecting a bouquet of roses to follow. Nate never wrote or called me that night, even after I texted him at 11 p.m. As to why you got weird." But Nate didn't acknowledge his weirdness. But I didn't have the energy to tell Nate that I was sick of his (and many other guys') assumption that women spend their days plotting to pin down a man and that ignoring me wasn't the kindest way to tell me he didn't want to lead me on.

This leads to awkward, sub-text-laden conversations, of which I've been on both sides."The great irony is that no one seems to enjoy playing the whoever-cares-less-wins game.

But more important, they are known on campus as places where people party on the weekend.

Women (but not non- member men) — and especially freshman girls — can choose to line up outside each house and be deemed worthy of entrance if the members consider them hot enough.

We're all trying so hard not to care, and nobody's benefiting.

Who Has The When it comes to college dating today, guys seem to be in a position of power, calling the shots on sex and romance — partly because they're especially good at playing the who-ever-cares-less game and partly because of the male-dominated places women go to meet straight guys on campus.

183 comments

  1. Say so long to your high school guys, and hello to college boys. As a freshman girl, eligible cuties seem to be everywhere, and guess what? They're all looking at you. The attention can be fun, but when it comes down to it, the dating game in college is one that you'll learn a lot about as time goes on—you might not be a pro.

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