I call my mom frequently to see how he’s doing and she says “great! I’ll immediately call my father and he’ll give me the honest real truth and say “he’s only got a few days.” I haven’t talked to my mother in a week because I feel like she is lying to me and not keeping me in the loop. I cared for my mum day in day out for 14 years ( Alzheimer’s) and in the last 2 years I increasingly became more angry and resentful towards her .
I asked her if they would give him a feeding tube if it got to that point and she screamed at me and basically told me to stay out of it. Hi, my mother in law has vascular dementia, having had a couple of strokes a few years ago.. People keep saying what a wonderful job I did,but I know I didn’t and feel ashamed of myself for shouting at her towards the very final stages of her life.
Instead of a magical cure, I pray for an end to my mother’s life. Ironically, Mummy, as her family often calls her, is in remarkable physical health.
At age 92, she takes few medications and is ambulatory.
As long as I can remember my parents have been feeding, bathing, brushing teeth, dressing, and moving my grandfather from place to place. He does not recognize any of us and is only responsive to music.
'Ashley was young and I was old and everyone wanted to dump on her,' James explained. I don’t even believe in a higher power, let alone one true God.Even so, for the past several years I often find myself praying.My mother has almost forced this onto my dad who loves her too much to ever speak his mind around her since she is so emotionally fragile she will break down. He chokes on his food and has started to get reoccuring chest infections due to him aspirating it. I thought of this as a blessing because I see it as his way to leave this world in peace and finally be out of his misery.I’ve questioned her before as to why they don’t consider a home (before he was placed in the rehab last week) and she breaks down and says I don’t get to ask questions since I moved out of their house 6 years ago. He always told me he never wanted to suffer when it was his time. They even asked me to pray for him to “bounce back” which, put lightly, caused me to snap.Before my dad showed signs of memory loss, Mummy had been the primary caregiver for her own mother who had some form of dementia.Then, she managed the care of her brother, a lifelong bachelor, who had probable Alzheimer’s.She is not emotionally prepared to answer questions to answers she should have asked herself 10 years ago when this all started. She halluncinated before, got agitated, but was basically ambulatory with help. One doctor told us the hallucinations might lessen as the brain continued degenerating. My advice is to always remember that there REALLY is someone still locked in there and understands more than we/I understood.Now she is weak and bedridden but the hallucinations are gone. Always be careful when talking about them in there presence/I made this mistake and now feel crushed.In fact, with the aid of a walker, Mummy strides up and down the halls in her care center — sometimes for hours.When she is walking the halls, Mummy often appears to have a purpose and a destination in mind. Up close, it is immediately apparent Mummy is locked into a prison from which there is no parole.